On Giving
You’ve heard me talk a lot about love and relationships here the last few weeks.
All relationships require input from at least two people. Part of establishing what a particular relationship will look like is the act of connecting and sharing - which is a process of giving and receiving.
It’s never going to be 50/50 all the time. Having that expectation (especially if you haven’t communicated that expectation) is a recipe for pain, frustration, and sometimes even disaster.
Your responsibility is to ask for what you need. No one can be inside your head but you. Additionally: asking for something does not entitle you to receive it. Anyone who makes you feel bad for asking for what you need likely needs to search themselves; if you make them feel bad simply for denying your request (especially if they give you a valid reason why), then you likely need to search yourself.
I am, by default, a giver, a helper. I used to struggle with not being able to ask for what I needed. I also confused my freedom to ask with my assumption that people owed me something. When I don’t pause long enough, sometimes I still do.
Think of a time when you were upset by an interaction with someone close to you. Can you see where you may have been jumping to conclusions?
PS Later this month, I am participating in the Polar Plunge here in Saint Louis. If you feel called to give (or share! That is just as valuable to me.) I’d love your support.
